Most of the people I work with have spent years being very good at things. Good at their jobs, their relationships, their families. Good at managing themselves, other people, the distance between who they are and who they think they're supposed to be.

What they're less practiced at is slowing down enough to ask whether any of it is actually working for them. Whether the life they've built reflects what they want, or what they learned, would make them worth something to the people who mattered early on.

That's not a flaw. It's a very human thing to do. And it's exactly the kind of thing therapy is for.

Here's what I also know: their lives aren't stopping while we do this work. They're still running the company, managing the family, navigating a brain that works differently than most systems were built for. Therapy that only looks backward isn't enough. We work on what's most pressing right now and what's been creating it — at the same time. 

I'm Roberta Gelfand, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in New Jersey, New York, and Connecticut. I hold specialty certifications in ADHD (ADHD-CCSP), autism spectrum disorders (ASDCS), integrative mental health (CIMHP), and dialectical behavior therapy (C-DBT). My work draws from IFS, CBT, ACT, DBT skills, somatic and nervous-system-informed approaches, psychodynamic insight, mindfulness, and polyvagal theory.

That's not a list of buzzwords. Each one does something different. Some build the skills and structure someone needs right now. Some help make sense of what shaped the patterns in the first place. Some work with what the body is holding that thinking alone can't reach. I use what the person and the moment actually need.

I don't push people to perform better. I help them get curious about what's been driving the performance and what they actually want when they stop long enough to ask. That means not bulldozing the parts of them that have worked hard to get them here. Those parts did their job. My job is to help them rest, so the rest of the person has more room. 

I work private pay only. That means our work is between us, no prior authorizations, no outside limits on where it goes or how long it takes.

If any of this sounds familiar, I'd like to talk.